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  Table of Contents

  Cover

  Synopsis

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Other Books by Bette Hawkins

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Bella Books

  Synopsis

  Trish Carter has found the other side of an unsatisfying relationship and is now ready to embrace a new job and a new life. She isn’t expecting to test the limits of her fresh start on her first day at work though. The striking young author, June Williams, grabs her attention from their first conversation and Trish can’t seem to stay away from her.

  When the two women form a pact to test the theories June is researching for her book, they quickly discover that romantic friendships are easier on paper. Their contract clearly stipulates which types of intimacy is allowed and which aren’t. Holding hands is okay—but kissing certainly is not.

  At first the deal seems perfect. They can be close to one another without risking too much. But what happens when they cross the line and the boundaries of the contract conflict with real life?

  Copyright © 2018 by Bette Hawkins

  Bella Books, Inc.

  P.O. Box 10543

  Tallahassee, FL 32302

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, without permission in writing from the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

  First Bella Books Edition 2018

  eBook released 2018

  Editor: Lauren Humphries-Brooks

  Cover Designer: Judith Fellows

  ISBN: 978-1-59493-603-6

  PUBLISHER’S NOTE

  The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.

  Other Bella Books by Bette Hawkins

  No More Pretending

  Acknowledgments

  Thanks to everyone at Bella Books, and thank you to my editor Lauren for her invaluable support and guidance.

  About the Author

  Bette lives and works in Melbourne with her long-term girlfriend and their two dogs. Bette enjoys playing the electric guitar, reading, and cooking. She is a movie buff and a lover of music. She can be found on Twitter @BetteHawkins17.

  Chapter One

  As she drifted awake, Trish resolved that she would treat today like it was the new beginning she desperately needed. When she threw her arms over her head to stretch, she looked up at the ceiling. She eyed the crack that ran from one corner of the room to another, and glumly dropped her arms. Why did she feel so tired before she had even left her bed? Summoning enthusiasm for a fresh start was easier said than done.

  It was the house that made her feel like this. Trish had procrastinated about putting it on the market for the last few months. It was the home that she purchased with her ex-partner Katrina, and it was filled with so many memories that it was overwhelming. During the separation Katrina had practically given her the house. She only did it to alleviate her guilt over leaving, and Trish regretted agreeing to the deal almost as soon as it was made.

  When Katrina moved out, Trish scrubbed the house until it was sparkling clean. In a businesslike fashion, she took down all the photos of the two of them and packed away any sentimental items. Still, every time she looked around she recalled all the choices that they made as a couple, from the paint colors to the bookshelves they built. Nothing could erase the ghost of their failed relationship.

  Trish rose at last and tidied the covers before changing into her workout gear. The last six months had been bleak and lonely. The only thing that helped her to get through it was a devotion to routine and structure. She jogged around the streets in the crisp morning air for half an hour, then returned home to make the same green smoothie that she had for breakfast every day.

  While she drank the smoothie, she sat on the back porch with her tablet to read the newspaper and check her email. There was an unread message from her sister Leigh. Leigh was very supportive, but she drove Trish nuts with her meddling. Leigh had just become engaged to a man she met online and was convinced that it would work for Trish too. She insisted that Trish download a dating app, which Trish deleted after a couple of weeks and one single date. Trish was horrified to discover that the woman she went out with had a husband and was just looking for another woman to experiment with.

  Trish warily opened the email.

  Hey lil sis,

  Guess what, you know that girl I work with, Zoe? I always thought you two would get along, but she had that bitchy girlfriend who used to call her every five minutes. Well, turns out they’ve broken up so Zoe is single and ready to mingle. Can I give her your number?

  Leigh xoxo

  Trish sighed, and hit reply.

  Dear Leigh,

  This note is to inform you that not all lesbians are attracted to one another.

  Kind regards,

  Trish.

  No matter how nice this random colleague was, Trish wouldn’t be interested. She was nowhere near being ready for another relationship yet and didn’t see why she should be.

  The breakup with Katrina had been a huge blow to her. After eight years together, Trish had not seen it coming. They had been so committed to one another, tied together by the house and the car and the joint savings account. The two of them wore matching silver rings and regularly discussed plans to get married. They had problems, but Trish told herself that with enough work they could get through them. Then Katrina returned home from work one day and told Trish that she didn’t love her anymore, and that was that. Trish powered down her tablet, wishing that she could get through a day where Katrina wasn’t one of the first things she thought about.

  Trish showered and dressed in the clothes she’d laid out the evening before: a gray dress, light scarf, and black cardigan. During the interview they hadn’t mentioned what she should wear, but she reasoned that what she’d worn at the public library should be fine for the university library too. For work she liked to dress conservatively, though she was much more at home in jeans and T-shirts.

  As she walked to the train station, Trish checked her watch, hoping that she’d planned the commute well enough. She lived in the leafy Melbourne suburb of Fairfield, and while it wasn’t far from the city center, she didn’t
want to battle the peak hour traffic. She was going to miss being able to walk to work as she’d done in the past, but at least she could get some reading done on the train.

  Her plan was thwarted when the carriage was too crowded to get a seat, and she was so hemmed in she couldn’t get to her bag. Without the distraction of a book, she worried all the way to her stop. It had been a while since she’d started a new job.

  Holt University was right in the heart of the Central Business District. The station was bustling with people, and Trish pushed past suited-up men to get to the escalators.

  When she arrived, she had to check the campus map again to find her new workplace. It was a beautiful fall day and trees with turning leaves dotted the campus. Holt was one of the most prestigious universities in Melbourne, and the library was legendary. Her interview hadn’t been in the library itself, so she couldn’t wait for the chance to explore properly. When she finally got there, Trish paused to gawk up at the library. It was a huge structure, an impressive stone building split over five levels. The library was already open and she watched students scurrying into it. A kick of excitement overrode her nerves. She loved libraries—all of them.

  From an early age, she had been a voracious reader, and as a young adult she had dreamed about becoming a writer. The practical side of her had won out, though, and she applied to study information and knowledge management, so that she could be qualified to work as a librarian. It may not be the most exciting career out there, and Katrina always said that she could be doing something more challenging, but Trish adored it. It meant being surrounded by stories all day long. She loved the quiet marked by the sound of turning pages, and she loved giving recommendations to anyone who asked. There was nothing like the feeling she got from guiding people toward some bit of information they needed and seeing their relief when they found it.

  She pushed open the glass doors and walked across the marbled floor of the foyer. There was gorgeous artwork on the walls, and a reading room off to her right. Gazing around at the high ceilings and stacks of books, Trish approached the front desk.

  “Can I help you?” the woman behind the counter asked. She was in her late fifties, with short salt-and-pepper hair. Trish was accustomed to being one of the younger librarians wherever she worked.

  “Yes, thank you, I’m looking for Ms. Rose?”

  “Yes?”

  “Yes?” Trish asked.

  “Yes, I’m Ms. Rose.”

  “Okay. I’m Trish. The new librarian? They told me when they called to offer the job to ask for you?”

  “I see. If they had allowed me to join the interview panel as I requested I would have known whom I was expecting.”

  Trish pulled her shoulders back gamely. When women like Ms. Rose found a role they liked, they tended to stay and rule everyone else with an iron fist. If Trish could ingratiate herself with Ms. Rose, things between them would be fine.

  “Hopefully you’ll think they made the right choice.”

  Ms. Rose’s eyes darted up and down the length of Trish from behind her glasses.

  “I hope so. I’ll be with you in a moment, I need to speak to the young lady behind you that’s waiting for my attention.”

  “Oh.” Trish peered back over her shoulder. The woman had heard the exchange; she gave Trish a sympathetic glance.

  Trish stood to the side while Ms. Rose tried to locate a book the woman was asking for. The student looked older than college-age, perhaps in her mid- to late twenties. She had a striking profile, her black hair tied up in a loose ponytail. As she gestured, she exposed the lightly muscled arms underneath her oversized white T-shirt. She was tall, and there was something cat-like about the way she moved as she took the book between her hands.

  The woman thanked Ms. Rose and then turned to the side, raising her eyebrows and grinning at Trish before walking away. Her skinny black jeans flattered the curve of her hips, and she wore heavy-looking black boots. A leather jacket was draped over her arm.

  “Well.” Ms. Rose looked at her with narrowed eyes. “I suppose I could start by showing you around.”

  Trish pursed her lips to chase the smile from her face.

  “Thank you, I’d really appreciate that.”

  * * *

  June’s alarm buzzed once again and she hit the snooze button, then seized it and turned it off. The sun was streaming heavily through her curtains. June opened one eye, and then picked up her old digital alarm clock to pull it closer to her face. She’d been reading it right, it was already eight. Groggily sitting up, she rubbed her eyes, her mind already racing with the panic of work left undone.

  She had worked late at the bar and then spent a couple of hours winding down before going to bed. She’d managed to grab a solid six hours of sleep, which was better than what she got a lot of nights. On weekends she allowed herself to sleep in past noon, but throughout the week she needed to knuckle down and write.

  June treated working on her book as though it were another job. It wasn’t good enough to chip away at it for half an hour here and there while the world buzzed around her at the kitchen table or in cafés. She had to be at the library for at least a few uninterrupted hours before going to work. When she wasn’t making ends meet doing casual shifts as a barmaid, she was a tutor for an Australian literature class at the university. All these commitments didn’t leave a lot of time for leisure, but she loved juggling them anyway.

  June rolled out of bed and pulled on a robe, then padded out to the kitchen. Her roommate Ollie wasn’t up yet. Ollie also worked in a bar, Sapphire, a place in the city center that stayed open until late. June worked at The Dickens, and unlike Sapphire there was no velvet rope and no bouncers. It was a cozy little place that drew an after-work crowd and some loyal regulars. June had been there for a couple of years and by now she knew the cocktail recipes and wine list like the back of her hand.

  June yawned and started the coffee machine before looking around to see if there was anything to eat. She found a couple of pieces of whole meal bread on top of the fridge, and she toasted them to have dry with a mug of black coffee. While she was pouring a second cup Ollie stumbled blearily into the kitchen.

  “Is that my shirt?”

  Ollie looked down at himself and shrugged. He rubbed at his reddish-brown beard. The faded black Patti Smith shirt was tight across his chest.

  “Sorry. I thought it was mine.”

  “You’re such a liar. It looks better on you anyway. Late night?”

  “Uh-huh. We were so busy and then we went out for beers after. I’m so happy I have the day off.”

  “Then what on earth are you doing out of bed? I wish I was still in bed.”

  “You’re going to work on your book, I’m guessing?”

  “Always.”

  The book could feel like a burden now and then. In her darker moments, when she was wrestling with a line of argument or wondering whether she had even chosen the right subject, she wished she could throw the whole thing away. Most of the time, however, she loved it. June was addicted to the feeling that came over her when she was on a writing bender. It could make the whole world disappear.

  Ollie pulled a chair up to the table and June poured him a cup of coffee.

  “How was your night, dear?” June asked.

  Ollie took a mouthful of coffee, wincing at how strong she’d made it. “Delightful. Gerald asked me out, can you believe it?”

  “The bouncer? Oh my. What a dark horse.”

  They had been roommates for years, and friends since high school. June still ribbed Ollie about how he’d gotten drunk on cheap wine and then told her he thought it was important that they start hanging out. He’d earnestly explained that he thought she was the only cool person in their whole year. The two of them had supported each other through everything, from coming out to breakups.

  June quickly got herself ready, then packed her laptop into her bag before mounting her motorbike. Riding to the library cleared her head and helped her to get i
nto the right frame of mind to work. The bike was cheaper to run than a car, which was the main reason she had it.

  June parked her bike and kicked down the stand. There was a woman on the steps, staring up at the building. While June pulled off her helmet and jacket, she watched. Though she couldn’t see the woman’s face, June could admire the loveliness of her figure. The woman was a little shorter than her, with a subtle curviness. She had beautiful legs, her calves accentuated by the low heels she wore. June had the urge to call out something so that the woman would turn around and she could see what her face looked like.

  June walked into the library behind her. The woman’s hips swayed while she walked, taking her time, staring around the lobby. She hadn’t been here before, June didn’t think. Maybe she should offer to help her find what she was looking for. At the last minute, June realized that they were both headed for the front counter.

  June hung back while the mystery woman spoke to Ms. Rose. She overheard that her name was Trish. June liked putting a name to her. Trish’s voice was soft and deeper than she would have expected, giving the impression that Trish was the kind of serious woman that June had always been drawn to.

  Ms. Rose was a bitter old crone but she could be sweet when she wanted to, and June had come to appreciate her efficiency. Right now, though, she was giving Trish a hard time. Trish handled Ms. Rose calmly and politely, like she’d clocked everything about Ms. Rose in a heartbeat.

  When Trish turned around to walk past, June was finally able to see her face. If there was such a thing as a textbook definition of a sexy librarian, a picture of her would be an excellent illustration to go along with it. Trish had beautiful bone structure; well-drawn cheekbones and a delicate chin. Her honey-blond hair was scraped back into a bun. A couple of wisps of hair had escaped from it and were curling gently around her face. The hemline of her dress was modest, ending just below her knee, but the understated toughness in her voice hinted that she might be less demure than she appeared.